Family Success Newsletter - Spring 2005
In This Issue:
Practical Ways to be Financially Responsible
- Create a saving plan. Often we live so much today we do not think for tomorrow. Ask God for a raise on your job or an increase in business. Put the extra money into a savings account.
- Never co-sign a note for anyone, Proverbs 11:15 declares. This is a hard truth, but you will be blessed if you adhere to it.
- We do not lend person-to-person. In fact, when friends were in need, we have given them the money; but if they could not pay us back, it did not make a difference. Proverb 22:7 states the borrower is servant to the lender. We do not want to make our friends our servants therefore we do not lend them money.
- Make a decision not to use your credit card unless you pay it off monthly. Be honest with yourself: you may need to cut up the credit cards for awhile. Thoroughly shred any new credit card offer as soon as you take it out of the mailbox.
- Abandon get-rich schemes. A scheme is anything the Lord has not called you to do (Proverbs 28:22, 20:21, 21:5).
- Resist impulse-purchasing. Resolve to only buy those things you genuinely need or that the Lord leads you to buy.
- Look for the holes in your budget, like eating out too much, cable television that you should not be watching anyway, clothes you have not worn, unread books, gadgets that promise ease, get-rich schemes, and items that promise results too quickly. Proverbs 14:15 says the “simple believes every word.”
- Stop drinking wine, beer, smoking, etc. While this may be obvious, we speak to people all the time who spend their money on these vices. We are not talking about salvation, but health— the psychological and even spiritual harm done by these is well documented. Proverbs 21:17 says that loving wine and pleasure makes you a poor man. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and you should not engage in these narcotics anyway.
- Listen to your family for accountability. Proverbs 13:18 states that poverty and shame come to those who do not receive correction. Listen to your spouse, children and those wise counselors God surrounds you with.
- Take care of the things you have already been blessed with, including your car and your home. Make a household and car maintenance plan.
- Work hard. Remember the ant. Laziness leads to lack. The Lord rewards the diligent.
- Contact a Christian Debt Counseling Service, if you really need help.
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Every Family Should Build on Their Financial Integrity
by Derek and Cheryl Carter
It has been said, rightfully so, that our money reflects who we are. In fact, I once heard a preacher say, “If you want to know who you are, what’s important to you, just look at your checkbook.” The way we manage our money is generally a result of how we see ourselves spiritually. Do we feel accountable to God for our finances? Is He blessing us? Do we feel God has forgotten about us and we need to use our money to take care of ourselves? The way we spend our money is indicative of the way we see God providing for us.
Discussing finances, on one hand, seems so temporal and lowly. After all, this is a spiritual book. But the way we spend our money is often related to our perceptions about God and ourselves. If we truly believe God will take care of us, we spend with discretion, not fear. We really have to believe that God is taking care of us. Before we had children, we agreed Cheryl would be home with them. This decision cut our household budget in half. We went from two people living on $50,000 to three people living on $25,000. At times, particularly as we had more children, we felt deprived. In fact, we looked at our friends who had not made the same decision, and we saw them prospering financially.
“Over those years, when the children were young, I began to develop a poverty mentality. I did not expect certain things from God and often began to tell myself I really did not want things I truly desired. I thought God did not want to give me things He had given to other people. I began to limit God in my life. I started trusting in our money to deliver us. Interestingly, though, during those years there were times people would just give us money or provision without knowing we had a need. Eventually, I could see God was providing for us and not holding anything back. I finally realized I had a poverty mentality. I learned when you make a decision for righteousness, it will be tested; and finances is often a tangible means of testing. I repented and asked God for the impossible.” —Cheryl
Money and Character
Our money reflects our character. If you look at your checkbook and are spending money on your children’s education, truly you believe that is important. If you are spending a great deal on clothing, are you finding your identity in things instead of Christ? Are you more concerned about how you look to others than who you are to yourself? In our most lean years we did know families who were in the same financial predicament as us but spent a great deal on their church clothes so as not to appear to be struggling to their fellow saints.
Money should not define us. In Western church culture, more and more churches are adopting the prosperity gospel. While we whole heartily believe we should not have a poverty mentality nor think too lowly of ourselves, in some Christian circles people attribute wealth to spiritual maturity and God’s favor. Often, however, the accumulation of wealth is a result of financial savvy and wise money management at best; at worst, it is manipulating people and circumstances to benefit you financially.
We knew of a family in a church that was well respected. This family was overtly quite prosperous, often having church members over to their elaborate home, which to their credit they did term “a gift from God.” However, in their home, where we, too, were often invited, there was rarely any discussion about God, or their daily struggle to be holy and make righteous decisions, which should be expected in genuine fellowship with believers. Instead, the husband was always talking about money and making one more business deal. In fact, he spoke about his tenants—for he had made his money in real estate—with contempt and disgust. Yet, so many congregants admired this family for their financial vitality. Later, morally, all this man’s children would fall and the holes in his marriage began to enlarge. His children confessed to others they had no real relationship with their father, although they had lots of things. The saddest part of this story is he used his money to bail his children out of the immoral consequences of their behavior. He hid his marriage difficulties by increasing his church giving and, as a result, maintained his prestigious standing in the church.
Unfortunately, we often equate financial blessings with spiritual maturity. This said, does that mean if you are poor or struggling financially you are in the center of God’s will? Probably not! God’s Word has signs following; and when He tells you to do something, He provides for you. Balance must be maintained, for we are all called to be good stewards of our money. Barna Research reports that one-third of born-again Christians feel they cannot get ahead because of the debt they are in. This is sad in that debt inevitably ties you to the past.
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Budget
Every family should have a budget. For a long time we resisted a budget because we knew our living expenses, which we had cut to the bare minimum, exceeded our intake (salary). We read in budget books that your housing should not exceed one-third your income; however, we lived in New York City, and the only way to substantially reduce our housing would have been to relocate, which we did not feel God was telling us to do. We recognize many families as are in this vise. There are an abundance of budget books. (See our list of resources). Making a budget is simple: separate spending into categories.
We have discovered one major reason while family budgets fail is they do not address a family’s personality and/or emotional needs. For instance, we are avid readers and simply must put money aside for books. We see this as a family need just as important as paying the light bill. Budgets work best if you do not totally deprive yourself of something. For instance, if you are dining out every week cut it down to once a month, or perhaps quarterly. This will be easier on you psychologically because you know eventually you will reward yourself with eating out. Equally important is the emotionally needs of your children. For instance, a toddler should never be prematurely toilet trained just so you can save money on diapers.
However, we also see the materialism and see more and more families mortgaging their children’s future for a new pair of shoes. In fact, some families are replacing substance and “presence” in their children’s lives with “presents.”
Our budgets must be birthed in prayer. Some of us separate our financial lives from our spiritual lives. Jehovah Jireh wants to help you to succeed, and He alone knows the intimate details—perhaps weaknesses—that caused you to get into such a tight financial predicament. By no means does this imply that only those in financial straits should have a budget. We are all called to be good stewards of our money. Managing our money, like managing our time, reflects our walk with God. We should therefore pray and take time, as Proverbs 14:8 says, to “consider our ways” and gather all the information before we etch our budgets in stone. Managing our money helps it to go further. Invite the whole family to participate in the prayer process.
We, as a family, must unilaterally agree on our financial goals. Often our budgets are sabotaged before they are implemented because there is no genuine agreement on the goals. This is apt to occur when we are in a financial crisis and quickly develop a budget to address the problems. Even children should have an understanding of the family’s financial goals. Do not burden your children unnecessarily with financial woes, but state in the affirmative why the family needs to save the money. Be mindful of your children’s concept of time. It might be difficult for them to understand that a vacation to Disney World restricts them from getting that toy airplane at the register. Gently help them understand the family’s financial goals and be willing to deny yourself more than you require them to deny themselves. Do not reinforce selfishness; rather, teach them temperance and limits.
You should also limit the amount of money you will spend on any given item. You will tend to overspend when you do not have a threshold from which to operate. Ask yourself, what is the highest amount of money you will spend on a shirt, a set of books or electronic gadget. Then, when you see a shirt you like, even one on sale, the final price will determine whether or not you will purchase it. Husbands and wives also should not make major purchases without consulting one another. It is also a good idea to never buy anything on impulse. You can do this by realistically separating your wants from your needs.
The emotional needs of the family should also be taken into account. Money should never be exalted over people. For instance, a baby should not be prematurely toilet trained just to save money on disposable diapers. You should not postpone surgery or needed medical procedures just to save some dollars. Also, consider the personality of the family.
“I am an avid reader, and while some may call it unnecessary, book money is a necessary item in our budget, especially since our town library is tremendously limited. If your child is a sportsman or your daughter a gymnast be careful to keep resources for your children’s calling. This is why you should approach budgeting prayerfully, first.”
—Cheryl
You should have a place to keep your financial records and look at them daily. Breaking free of the debt-ridden life involves preparation—spiritually, by praying; and naturally, by planning. It will take fortitude for a family to get back on the right track. We must break the trend. Many have noted this trend in broken homes, but we have also seen homes where mothers and fathers spent inordinate amounts of time at work and in church service. When we give expensive gifts to our children, we alleviate our guilt; and it’s easier to give a $200 pair of shoes than 200 percent of ourselves to our children. We create a cycle of debt because we equate money with love.
It is surprising that, according to Barna Research, over one-third of American families are in debt. Many reasons may be given for this phenomena, as more of us have had an intolerance to waiting. Budgets with generous saving and giving plans are usually the antidote for debt. It’s also so simple we hesitate to mention it: limit spending and save more. We sometimes can be so hard-pressed in our budgets.
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The Bible and Money
The book of Proverbs provides more education on finances than any financial book. It encourages moral living and, frankly, declares that immorality and hiding our sin produces poverty (Proverbs 5:10 and 28:13). It encourages us to be teachable (13:18) and to guard who we keep company with, as this too will contribute to our poverty. We are further encouraged to develop financial insight by not co-signing a loan for anyone, not getting involved in get-rich-quick schemes, being diligent, and always engaging in wise planning. In short, God is more interested in our attitudes towards money. Money is used to advance God’s kingdom, and the Proverbs also encourage us to give to the poor. We are the Lord’s representatives here on earth. Our money should be used to advance His purposes and to minister to people’s need. In short, the Lord is more concerned with our attitudes and motives than our money.
We should teach diligent money-management to our children. (See list in our resource materials.) Most people know about Abraham Lincoln, but few know about his step-brother Johnston. Historians say Johnston was a lazy unmotivated man. On one occasion Johnston wrote to then Senator Lincoln asking for eighty dollars. Lincoln points out to him that he is an idler, and if the character trait is not seriously dealt with, he would pass it on to his children. He suggests Johnston get a job in the fields where he would earn about ten dollars per month. Lincoln offers to match the ten dollars he earns. Lincoln tells him that this would teach him to be more diligent and to learn a new skill. We see Lincoln’s wisdom in that he does not say no, but offers to help in a way that will challenge Johnston to be more responsible. Parents who constantly bail their children out of financial difficulty are not really helping them.
We must teach our children that where their hearts are so will their treasure be. Practical financial skills can also be learned by running a small business. If you have a family business, involve your children. Teach your children to tithe their allowance and do not be so quick to bail your adult children out of their financial woes. Young children can learn a lot about business by managing their own businesses; and if you do not have experience running your own business, you can learn simply by helping your children. If running a business seems a bit risky for you, engage in practical money-management skills. Examine the possibility that you can turn hobbies or interests into profitable ventures. Your home business may offer significant tax benefits. Check with an accountant or knowledgeable tax practitioner about the tax advantages of a home office.
All your money belongs to the Lord. He fully expects us to steward His resources and to increase His resources. We simply have to keep our hearts singularly on God. The Lord looks at our motives. The real key to financial growth is becoming the kind of people God can entrust with His riches. The truth is, as we press in to know God more, He will change our attitudes and motives, and make us invaluable people who will be able to handle riches.
Prayer
Lord,
Make us the kind of people who can handle more wealth. Give us business ideas and budgeting insight, and bless the work of our hands so we may pass a financial legacy to our children’s children.
This material was excerpted from Derek & Cheryl’s book Seven Biblical Foundations Every Family Should Build On! Copyright May 2002, Family Success Publications a division of Jehonadah Communications.
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