Mom Time News It's Time to Confess Sin Okay, I will admit it this will not be an oozy goozy feel good message. In fact, some might be a bit offended by what I want to say. We make excuses for sexual sin in our churches all the time. If most of the things we permit in our churches ever hit the secular tabloids the government might well move in just to protect us from ourselves. Heaven help us to as my former pastor used to say not to check our brain at the door when we go to church. The problem is we too readily accept compartmentalized lifestyles from our leaders. A pastor can have multitude divorces but if he can preach a good message on Sunday morning we amen him to high heaven. A friend relayed to me the sad story of a youth pastor who was not immediately relieved of his position even after he found to be abusing the young girls because the senior pastor admired his evangelical talents. A pastor and the praise and worship leader’s extramarital affair was excused by because of how well the young woman sang and the pastor preached. In some circles, scripture is routinely twisted to justify sexual sin. When widespread sexual sin is exposed in the church, the world just shakes their head as if to say I knew it along. Do not get me wrong, I too am angered that nearly every Hollywood production portrays preachers as sexually or financially crazed crooks. I can’t help but wonder if these writers are just drawing on their own cynicisms and prejudices or does the old literary question apply-- is art imitating life or is life imitating art ? For instance, the weekend news shows were buzzing with the Catholic Church sexual abuse scandal a few months. Because of these news reports and the ensuing lawsuits in the Catholic Church, we are privy to actual memos circulated throughout the diocese regarding priest sexual misconduct. Many of these memos give credence that the church engaged in nothing more than holy wrist slapping of pedophile priests. I have heard more than a few protestant leaders decry with outrage the sins of the Roman Catholic Church while they have not addressed widespread sexual immorality, abuse and indecency in their own congregations. Why are we not dealing with sexual sin in our churches? Do we think it will go away if we just do not talk about it? I have spoken with people who grew up in the church and almost every young lady has had an experience with deacon touchy feely. Statistics show that between one in three perhaps one in four girls will be molested during childhood and between one in five perhaps one in six boys will be molested . Once we were only concerned but our daughters but today more boys are being molested than girls. These abuses generally occur with adults whom children trust. The strength of the abuser is not only the silence of the church but our naiveté as well. Churches make a great home for the pedophiles because we tend to be too free and trusting with our children. Children ministry workers are rare and if anyone offers to help, we are too quick to take them up on their offer by immediately placing them in a trusting ministry positions before we check them out both morally, spiritually and legally. Yes, I did say legally. You can pray down heaven but it is still wise to do a routine criminal background checks on all those who work with your children and youth including inquiring why they left previous positions. Sometimes pedophiles will have what appear to be spotless vocational references because they usually have hopped around various organizations to avoid detection. Specifically look for repeated gaps and seemingly jumps from one organization to the other where the only common denominator is that the organization was child related. Call references directly and let people know that you are depending on them to give you an honest assessment. Inquire if any allegations or improprieties were alleged. It is better to ask these embarrassing questions to protect children than to be sorry later. Yes, you should pray but you should also act wisely. What I am saying may seem like basic common sense but it still needs to be said. A few years ago a very well publicized case involved a pedophile (although the individual and his church would definitely object to me using that term but I call it as I see it) was a children ministry worker. He molested a several boys in the congregation. He begged the church’s forgiveness then went to counseling. After counseling, he was given his position back whereupon he promptly molested more boys. The case made the news because the parents sued the church. Church leadership embraced their doctrine of forgiveness to invalidate any claims against them. They reasoned that forgiveness meant restoration of his former position. Had those innocent children or their unsuspecting parents been voting participants in that church board meeting I wonder if they would have defined forgiveness as those elders? We simply have allowed too much frivolity on these matters in our churches as well as the issue of pornography. Once when a large number of pastors were staying in a hotel the hotel attendants said they were exceptionally busy because the switchboards were jammed because so many pastors were requesting the x-rated channels. Research shows that people addicted to pornography will continue to escalate to the point of no return. The bible warns that when we think on the something long enough then we eventually act on it. Meditation always produces manifestation. It would be completely hopeless if God had not provided a solution. God speaks to the heart of his people. One ministry in particular with the heart of God is Long Island Coalition for Community Values (www.liccv.org). It is an organization whose principle aim is to deal with sexual sin. They are a ministry of integrity and they are a voice for the voiceless. They minister to “the least of them among us.” The ministry has championed the cause of innocent men, women and children who are victims of pornography and sexual sins. At their annual dinner, I was touched that they even thanked their auto mechanics who kept their cars running so they could pour their resources into the ministry. All of us can help in some way. We can talk to others and encourage purity. Each of us can get the word out in our own spheres of influence. Those in the church must also repent of their own sexual sin and at the same time they must encourage a generation of Christians both young and old to lead pure lives. This is no small matter. This is a matter of faith and spiritual maturity. Abstinence is not a good idea. It is God’s idea. There are a number of credible ministries. (See the list below). I pray that you will share them with others, particularly those in bondage. Support them financially. Pray for them. More importantly, may each of us be a powerful example of the grace of God to hold up the standard of Christ Jesus. More importantly, may the wounded find healing in our arms and in our churches. Amen. Ministry helps Long Island Coalition for Community Values- A solid and practical biblical help with sexual addictions. In addition, helps victims of sexual abuse www.liccv.org call their Victims Assistance Hotline 1.800.583 2964 Freedom Everyday Ministries A very practical ministry helping those with sexual addictions and other problems. Visit www.freedomeveryday.org or call 1.866.408.LIFE Focus on the Family. A family ministry that assists you with locating resources. Call 1 1-800-232-6459 (1 800 A FAMILY) or email their hotline to find a Christian counselor or resources in your area. www.family.org Exodus International. Helps former homosexuals Call 407-599-6872 to locate a Christian Counselor in your area or visit www.exodus-international.org ABOUT THE AUTHOR Cheryl R. Carter generally writes on time management, parenting and family issues. She believes one of the biggest threats to the sanctity of the family is sexual sin. She is willing to step out of her comfort zone to address this issue. Read her other commentary under her e-newsletter--Momtime at www.momtime.net
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