Mom Time NewsTime Management for Mothers Mother's Day hails celebrations for moms everywhere this month. I am blessed to have two mothering examples in my life. My mother and my mother-in-the-Lord (as I refer to her because the term mother-in-law has negative connotations). My mother (along with my father) managed to raise seven children who did not become statistics. I am indebted to my mother-in-the-Lord for perhaps her greatest tribute- the way she influenced my husband (although both his parents contributed significantly). In addition, God has provided me with a plethora of others in the church community with mothers' hearts. Surely, mothers are precious part of the body of Christ. As moms the way we juggle our time can be quite a feat. Time is different when you are a mom. Your schedule is primarily dictated by the needs of others. I once heard someone say Jesus really understood mothers. During His entire earthly ministry, He hardly had a moment to Himself. He was followed everywhere He went by twelve guys who so often just could not get the point. He did not get discouraged even though He spent three years pouring into their lives. He just kept his eye on the prize -the salvation of their souls. As mothers we need this same eternal perspective. We need to embrace our mothering challenges understanding the eternal implications. It is easy to fall into the mundane day-to-day activities and to lose our eternal perspective among the dirty diapers. It is important that we remind ourselves of the following principles: Children are a gift from the Lord. They are not our burdens to bear, but rather our crowns to wear. Children are not excess baggage that weighs you down and keeps you from reaching your personal goals. Yet often this is the way children are treated in church. I often see parents active in ministry whose children flounder because no accommodations are made for them. When God called men and women to ministry He called whole families. Christ gets no glory when you sacrifice your children's destiny on the altar of church service. Involve your children in your ministry. In fact, God's perfect plan for evangelism is that parents birth their children into the Kingdom, then disciple them accordingly. It is not the Sunday School teacher's responsibility to teach your child the Word. It is yours! Raise your child up in the reverential fear and admonition of the Lord. Teach them while they are young. Give them your time unselfishly. Love them and they will grow to love your God as well. Unfortunately, the converse is also true. Too many church children turn away from God because of the hurt, neglect and rejection they felt as church children. Do not provoke your children to wrath. Be their mom first. Love them with your time and attention, and they will grow to love God. Progress and activity are not synonymous. Besides limiting your activities, your child needs restrictions on their activities. Some kids are involved in so many things that their home is nothing more than a hotel, and their parents glorified chauffeurs. I strongly believe many children are involved in so many activities due to parental guilt and fear. Parents fear their children not being competitive enough. Others lack the backbone to say "no" to their children' unreasonable requests. They fall prey to the way the world raises their children. Christian moms should determine their children' schedule after consultation with the Lord. Too often decisions are reached for the wrong reasons. This is illustrated in the fervor in which we indiscriminately place our children in different activities. Once a mom called me when a television show that featured various child prodigies was airing. A toddler played a magnificent piano symphony. Watching it she excitedly panted, "I must get my child into piano lessons." Knowing her child who had neither musical aptitude nor inclination, I asked "why". "Because" she impatiently whined "I want him to play like that. We (trying to draw me into her irrational reasoning) have to do it so our kids can keep up with all the others..." Our children's activities should be based on their individual gifts and their calling. And moms, you can only know their gifts and calling as a result of prayer and communion with the Holy Spirit. Remember, the Scripture tells us that after observing events in young Jesus' life, "Mary held these things in her heart." We know that she was a prayerful woman to be entrusted with the Savior of the world. She knew how to listen to the Holy Spirit. We too can do this with our children. Sometimes the Holy Spirit may lead us to expose our children to different activities for a season. Yet, these activities should never interfere with family life or your child's spiritual development. Remember your child needs time to be a child too. A hectic schedule can also cause a child premature stress. The most important progress your child can make is spiritual progress. No activity can replace the presence of God. You need time alone with God. This is not optional. You need time to fill yourself so that you can pour into others. Mothers are constantly pouring. Your children are the major benefactors of your time alone with God. My children do not interrupt me when I am praying (of course, I trained them so) because they know I am more patient, kind, and longsuffering after I have been in the presence of God. Since you are responsible for your children's spiritual development you should be reading, studying, and praying so that they can receive the overflow of your time with God. Most mothers do not spend time alone with God so they have little to give, or they try to give in their own strength. Moms should minister to their children in the power of the Holy Spirit. One of my spiritual mentors, the late Susanna Welsey, (mother of the famous Welsey brothers) home-schooled her brood of nineteen. She was a fantastic preacher who brought forth the Word boldly in public as well as in her home. She sparked great revival in her town. She was known to put her apron over her head and pray right in the midst of her noisy household. She knew when she was in danger of doing things in her own strength as opposed to God's strength. She left a fantastic legacy for us as mothers. You are not your role. A few dear friends refer to me as 'Mama Carter'. Interestingly this has never bothered me because they realize that I look after them spiritually (keeping them in prayer and occasionally challenging their position spiritually). I am proud of that title. Still I find many moms do not have an identity. Their children are their life. Being absorbed in children results in mothers circumventing the very things God may be calling them to do. In other words, their life is their child. Everyone needs to develop their own interests, gifts, and talents. A mom is not the sum total of all we are to God. I was a wife before I was a mother. Many women fail to realize this. Mothers need also to develop their relationship with their husbands. My husband and I still date although we have been married fourteen years. Yes, we actually date (without the kids). It keeps our romance alive and definitely revitalizes me. Mothering is a seasonal commitment. I am often reminded, usually by an elderly couple strolling in the park, to appreciate my children while they are young. These people often said this with a look of regret and sadness in their voices, and a forlorn look in their eyes. I do not want to be like these people. One day, I will release my children to go out into the world to fully live out their calling. They will one day walk and talk with God alone in the cool of the day. There will be no more runny noses to wipe, no more dirty laundry to clean, no more "because I said so that's why", and no more sleepless nights. On that day my husband and I will stroll in the park, and seeing a young couple we will say with a twinkling gleam in our eyes and joy in our voices: "enjoy them now". We will do this knowing that we did enjoy our children as we eagerly await the inheritance of our grandchildren! May the LORD continue to lead you as you guide your children. May the joys of motherhood outweigh your regrets! ABOUT THE AUTHOR Cheryl R. Carter generally writes on time management, parenting and family issues. She believes one of the biggest threats to the sanctity of the family is sexual sin. She is willing to step out of her comfort zone to address this issue. Read her other commentary under her e-newsletter--Momtime at www.momtime.net |
